FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOM and Other Lies Told to Me By a Raving, Anti-Semitic Lunatic

Or, everything wrong with Braveheart You know what I really like to do? Trash historical movies from the 1990s. Can you guess what movie I’m going to trash this time? I mean, I wrote it right in the title. I’m going to shit on Braveheart. Besides featuring the very odd BDSM fetish of one ofContinue reading “FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOM and Other Lies Told to Me By a Raving, Anti-Semitic Lunatic”

MOTHERFUCKING VIKINGS Part I

Or, INCEST. INCEST EVERYWHERE In case it hasn’t been made clear yet, royalty likes to interbreed.  Cousins like to marry cousins, and incest is a cherished family value.  Prince Albert (Queen Victoria’s husband) was a man who believed that peace in Europe could be achieved by all of his grandkids marrying each other.  As aContinue reading “MOTHERFUCKING VIKINGS Part I”

There’s No Such Thing as a Perfect Movie – Except There Is, and It’s The Prince of Egypt

Or, a Jew does Jewy things during a Jewy time You know what’s awesome? Throwing your back out in the middle of a pandemic when you live by yourself and are five feet away from your phone. And by awesome I mean the worst fucking thing ever. After enduring the most painful five foot crawlContinue reading “There’s No Such Thing as a Perfect Movie – Except There Is, and It’s The Prince of Egypt”

The Condemnation and Appreciation of the Dreadwolf, Fen’Harel

Or, don’t romance Solas. Seriously. WARNING. THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR ALL THINGS DRAGON AGE. WARNING. I recently attended a rather large gathering of BioWare fanatics where we discussed our favorite romances. Because to be completely honest, what’s the point of a BioWare game if you can’t romance anyone? The topic of Solas inevitablyContinue reading “The Condemnation and Appreciation of the Dreadwolf, Fen’Harel”

When the Prince of Wales is Actually Descended from the Prince of Wales

Or, the only king I hate more than Henry VII Also, I really like footnotes. When Edward I smashed Wales in the late 13th century, he left behind the beginnings of a massive building project, most of which you can still see today. There are a collection of ring fortresses around Wales, primarily Flint, Rhuddlan,Continue reading “When the Prince of Wales is Actually Descended from the Prince of Wales”

On the Valknut, the Swastika, and Your Moral Obligation to Punch Nazis

Or, Neo-Nazis really, really suck I am Jarl Rhydnara Sveinsdottir. Ok, no I’m not. I’m actually a Jewish engineer Democrat from Connecticut. I’ve been into Vikings since I was a little girl. I made a deal with my parents that when I had my own health insurance, I could get tattoos. So within a monthContinue reading “On the Valknut, the Swastika, and Your Moral Obligation to Punch Nazis”

The Wacky Adventures of Charles I

Or, WE DON’T FIND THAT SHIT ROMANTIC, WE FIND IT CREEPY Alright, so we have the young Charles Stuart, future Charles I, even more future headless king of England. We have the Duke of Buckingham, boyfriend of King James I. James has been chatting up the Spanish with the hope of marrying Charles to theContinue reading “The Wacky Adventures of Charles I”

Keeping Track of Outlander

Or, my obsession with 18th century fashion Are you like me, totally blown away by all of the amazing, to DIE for dresses on Showtime’s Outlander? Or are you like me, completely distracted by the sexy guys in kilts? Or are you also like me, really confused by all of the guys named Prince CharlieContinue reading “Keeping Track of Outlander”

The Curious Case of Catherine Carey

Or, how to annoy the shit out of your friends I recently went to Hershey Park with a few friends for my birthday.  One friend in particular told me that he was descended from Thomas West, 3rd Baron De La Warr.  Apparently this isn’t the first time he’s told me this, but for some reasonContinue reading “The Curious Case of Catherine Carey”

In Search of the Ultimate Lancastrian

Or, an attempt to restore the reputation of Mary I I like John of Gaunt.  I think he was a pretty awesome guy.  He certainly had a huge impact on England, and, genealogically speaking, a massive impact on the world.  You know.  With his dick. I’ve talked a lot about him, but never his wholeContinue reading “In Search of the Ultimate Lancastrian”