On British Imperialism and Shiny Things

Or, blood diamonds are a monarch’s best friend Britain has a new monarch, and with the changing of the guard, pomp and circumstance are on broad display. For the first time in almost three quarters of a century, the world is about to see a level of pageantry it’s hard to properly describe. Set forContinue reading “On British Imperialism and Shiny Things”

The Queen is Dead, Long Live the King

Or, shit, I guess I was wrong about the whole immortality thing It’s an end of an era. Elizabeth Windsor, queen of the United Kingdom since 1952, died yesterday surrounded by family at Balmoral in Scotland at the age of 96. Unless she’s in hiding, still dictating behind the scenes while we’re distracted by royalContinue reading “The Queen is Dead, Long Live the King”

Olga of Kiev Was a Serious Badass – GUF Edition

Or, LOOK OVER HERE, CLICK BAITY VIKINGS Western culture, especially American culture, is really obsessed with Vikings these days. It’s both annoying, and seriously problematic. I don’t know if the store selling Viking merch is grabbing on to a trend, or trying to recruit Neo-Nazis. It’s something I’m complained about before, and the issue isn’tContinue reading “Olga of Kiev Was a Serious Badass – GUF Edition”

High Energy Particle Physics and Tim Burton’s Wet Dream

Or, the creepy tale of the Portuguese corpse queen High energy particle physics has the Grand Unified Theory – the GUT. The idea that at a high enough energy, the three gauge interactions of the Standard Model – the electromagnetic, the weak, and the strong forces – become the same thing. Well, I’m going toContinue reading “High Energy Particle Physics and Tim Burton’s Wet Dream”

A Beginner’s Guide to The Crown

Or, apparently Prince Philip is not immortal It occurs to me that we’re now into season 4 of The Crown, with season 5 about to start filming, and I still haven’t addressed this masterpiece of a show. I mean, it’s a show that’s basically written for me. That’s kind of weird, isn’t it? Also, itContinue reading “A Beginner’s Guide to The Crown”

Who’s the Rightful Queen, Anyway?

Or, a call to restore Mary I and Catherine of Aragon Hey! I’m not dead. I swear, still healthy and alive over here. Or, at least alive. Coping with a global pandemic kind of takes the piss out of life. But, I’m back! So, let’s get on with the geneaology! How do you determine whoContinue reading “Who’s the Rightful Queen, Anyway?”

FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOM and Other Lies Told to Me By a Raving, Anti-Semitic Lunatic

Or, everything wrong with Braveheart You know what I really like to do? Trash historical movies from the 1990s. Can you guess what movie I’m going to trash this time? I mean, I wrote it right in the title. I’m going to shit on Braveheart. Besides featuring the very odd BDSM fetish of one ofContinue reading “FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOM and Other Lies Told to Me By a Raving, Anti-Semitic Lunatic”


Or, INCEST. INCEST EVERYWHERE In case it hasn’t been made clear yet, royalty likes to interbreed.  Cousins like to marry cousins, and incest is a cherished family value.  Prince Albert (Queen Victoria’s husband) was a man who believed that peace in Europe could be achieved by all of his grandkids marrying each other.  As aContinue reading “MOTHERFUCKING VIKINGS Part I”

There’s No Such Thing as a Perfect Movie – Except There Is, and It’s The Prince of Egypt

Or, a Jew does Jewy things during a Jewy time You know what’s awesome? Throwing your back out in the middle of a pandemic when you live by yourself and are five feet away from your phone. And by awesome I mean the worst fucking thing ever. After enduring the most painful five foot crawlContinue reading “There’s No Such Thing as a Perfect Movie – Except There Is, and It’s The Prince of Egypt”

The Condemnation and Appreciation of the Dreadwolf, Fen’Harel

Or, don’t romance Solas. Seriously. WARNING. THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR ALL THINGS DRAGON AGE. WARNING. I recently attended a rather large gathering of BioWare fanatics where we discussed our favorite romances. Because to be completely honest, what’s the point of a BioWare game if you can’t romance anyone? The topic of Solas inevitablyContinue reading “The Condemnation and Appreciation of the Dreadwolf, Fen’Harel”