High Energy Particle Physics and Tim Burton’s Wet Dream

Or, the creepy tale of the Portuguese corpse queen High energy particle physics has the Grand Unified Theory – the GUT. The idea that at a high enough energy, the three gauge interactions of the Standard Model – the electromagnetic, the weak, and the strong forces – become the same thing. Well, I’m going toContinue reading “High Energy Particle Physics and Tim Burton’s Wet Dream”

A Beginner’s Guide to The Crown

Or, apparently Prince Philip is not immortal It occurs to me that we’re now into season 4 of The Crown, with season 5 about to start filming, and I still haven’t addressed this masterpiece of a show. I mean, it’s a show that’s basically written for me. That’s kind of weird, isn’t it? Also, itContinue reading “A Beginner’s Guide to The Crown”

Who’s the Rightful Queen, Anyway?

Or, a call to restore Mary I and Catherine of Aragon Hey! I’m not dead. I swear, still healthy and alive over here. Or, at least alive. Coping with a global pandemic kind of takes the piss out of life. But, I’m back! So, let’s get on with the geneaology! How do you determine whoContinue reading “Who’s the Rightful Queen, Anyway?”

FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOM and Other Lies Told to Me By a Raving, Anti-Semitic Lunatic

Or, everything wrong with Braveheart You know what I really like to do? Trash historical movies from the 1990s. Can you guess what movie I’m going to trash this time? I mean, I wrote it right in the title. I’m going to shit on Braveheart. Besides featuring the very odd BDSM fetish of one ofContinue reading “FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOM and Other Lies Told to Me By a Raving, Anti-Semitic Lunatic”

MOTHERFUCKING VIKINGS Part I

Or, INCEST. INCEST EVERYWHERE In case it hasn’t been made clear yet, royalty likes to interbreed.  Cousins like to marry cousins, and incest is a cherished family value.  Prince Albert (Queen Victoria’s husband) was a man who believed that peace in Europe could be achieved by all of his grandkids marrying each other.  As aContinue reading “MOTHERFUCKING VIKINGS Part I”

When the Prince of Wales is Actually Descended from the Prince of Wales

Or, the only king I hate more than Henry VII Also, I really like footnotes. When Edward I smashed Wales in the late 13th century, he left behind the beginnings of a massive building project, most of which you can still see today. There are a collection of ring fortresses around Wales, primarily Flint, Rhuddlan,Continue reading “When the Prince of Wales is Actually Descended from the Prince of Wales”

The Wacky Adventures of Charles I

Or, WE DON’T FIND THAT SHIT ROMANTIC, WE FIND IT CREEPY Alright, so we have the young Charles Stuart, future Charles I, even more future headless king of England. We have the Duke of Buckingham, boyfriend of King James I. James has been chatting up the Spanish with the hope of marrying Charles to theContinue reading “The Wacky Adventures of Charles I”

Keeping Track of Outlander

Or, my obsession with 18th century fashion Are you like me, totally blown away by all of the amazing, to DIE for dresses on Showtime’s Outlander? Or are you like me, completely distracted by the sexy guys in kilts? Or are you also like me, really confused by all of the guys named Prince CharlieContinue reading “Keeping Track of Outlander”

The Curious Case of Catherine Carey

Or, how to annoy the shit out of your friends I recently went to Hershey Park with a few friends for my birthday.  One friend in particular told me that he was descended from Thomas West, 3rd Baron De La Warr.  Apparently this isn’t the first time he’s told me this, but for some reasonContinue reading “The Curious Case of Catherine Carey”

In Search of the Ultimate Lancastrian

Or, an attempt to restore the reputation of Mary I I like John of Gaunt.  I think he was a pretty awesome guy.  He certainly had a huge impact on England, and, genealogically speaking, a massive impact on the world.  You know.  With his dick. I’ve talked a lot about him, but never his wholeContinue reading “In Search of the Ultimate Lancastrian”